hotel room ftw
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
