garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
