Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
