its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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