I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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