I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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