people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
