He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize