whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
