Is it normal to miss your booty call?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
