my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
