forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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