I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
