In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He felt like a one man threesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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