His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
