it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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