in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
