Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
