Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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