I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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