we have officially lost it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
