Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
