I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize