This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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