everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
