Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize