i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
