He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
