How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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