yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
