Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
