I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Randomize
