I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
