WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
