Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
