Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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