Yo dont text me then not text me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
