Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
