I heard we made out
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
