remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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