I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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