i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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