Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
