Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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