porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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