i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
