so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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