u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just pee around me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize