Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
