Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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