I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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