I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
