I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
