he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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