Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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