I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
