I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
