i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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